I've spent the last 20 years of my life teaching people how to work better together. And this weekend, I was about 30 seconds away from losing it.
I was tired, running on very little sleep, and the universe apparently decided it was the perfect moment for a practical exam in emotional intelligence.
Let's just say I didn't exactly ace the test.
It wasn't a spectacular blow-up, but it wasn't my finest hour either. I spent the entire next day replaying the moment and thinking, "Oh my gosh, they let you teach this stuff for a living?"
Emotional intelligence isn't perfection
But maybe that's kind of the whole point.
We talk a lot about emotional intelligence in leadership, and sometimes we forget that it isn't about being endlessly patient, perfectly calm, or getting it right every time.
Great leadership doesn't mean you never lose your cool. It means:
Noticing when you're getting close to your limit
Taking responsibility for what you did, or what you were about to do
Fully owning it, and trying to do a little better next time
Still practising, still human
Knowing better and doing better are two completely different things.
Twenty years in, I'm still learning, still practising, and still very, very human. Which is probably a good thing.